Who I Am
by RexieCakes
Summary: MY STORY FOR ONE-SHOT DAY 2013! What if Nina had lied to her friends about leaving Anubis? Set nearly one year since she's been away, Nina must return to the UK to tell them a story... Which will let out her biggest secret...


Looking in the mirror at myself... I knew this would be a huge risk. Going back to Anubis House after what I've done... It was the right thing to do, but on the other hand when they find out why I really left, why I really broke up with Fabian... Their reactions were as good as anyone's guess. I felt bad for lying to them still... My gran was fine she wasn't sick anymore. And no I'm not sick either! I just had to make care of some things... It was a secret I've been hiding for years... When I told my gran a few years ago she told me she'd support me every step of the way, and even though I was grateful for that I still covered it up... However when it became too much that's when I knew I couldn't go back.

But... It wouldn't be fair to my friends... To Fabian if I didn't go back and at least explain myself. I just hope they'll listen to me... Because I really need them to. Ever since I did what I've been needing to do for years now, my friends in America they wouldn't listen to me... Wouldn't talk to me... They won't even look at me.

So yeah maybe I am gonna be a loner now... But it beats pretending all of those years... I did feel better now that I was being myself. Cause honestly... I wasn't going to put on an act for anyone anymore! This is who I am and I'm proud of it.

I was suddenly snapped out of my thoughts as the train came to a stop... I put my mirror which was apart of my old make up set away. I had no use for it now, but the mirror would always come in handy. I was back in the UK... Ready to visit Anubis House. It was a surprise for my friends only Trudy and Victor knew I'd be there.

Gulping a bit as I stepped off the train and ordered a taxi for the rest of the ride there... My nerves slowly began to get the better of me. I was scared... No I wasn't just scared, I was terrified.

Soon the taxi came, I paid the driver right away... Got in and there I was... Getting closer to the place I missed with every second of which I was gone.

When we pulled up in front of the house my whole body froze as if it were ice... I felt chills run down my spine... My eyes were wide... My head was filling with all sorts of fears. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. I couldn't do anything now though... It was too late. And so I got out of the taxi, thanked the driver who would be back tonight, and walked up to the door... Dear god I was shaking... Every inch of me was hoping this wouldn't go down hill... I had so much to explain... That would hopefully not destroy the best group of friends I've ever had.

All I wanted was to come back here for school, but of course that couldn't be done... No not until I was sure I would be welcomed here.

Raising my hand to a door to knock never seemed so hard before... Closing my eyes as I made myself known from the inside... I heard footsteps coming to the other side of the door, biting down on my lower lip I knew this was it... One look at me was all anyone needed.

The door swung open and Trudy appeared standing there. I smiled up at her and she returned the greeting. In the whole house she was the only one who knew about me... When I called to ask if I could come to explain everything to my friends, I told her everything and she said that she still loved as one of her own. In the house we were all like her kids. And she was like our mother.

Understanding, accepting, kind, willing to listen when you needed someone to rant to, protective, etc.

"Welcome back deary! I've missed you so much!"Trudy said bringing me into a hug.

"I've missed you too!"I replied hugging back and smiling a little.

"Everyone will be back from school in an hour, would you like something to eat before then? Telling a story is never fun on an empty tummy,"The House Mother added pulling me inside, and closing the door.

"Yes please!"I responded. I had missed Trudy's cooking so much! Best food ever.

"Alright then! I'll make ya something right away! Make yourself at home,"The loving woman squeaked.

"I will! Thanks!"I said as Trudy disappeared down the hall.

Letting out a sigh I looked around the part of Anubis House I was in... By the stair case, front door, the boy's bedrooms on the first floor, the door to the cellar...

Never had I missed a school, and a house so much before... This place was my second home... It held the rest of my family. My brothers, my sisters... My mom... Victor (Yeah sometimes I thought of him as a dad) And then of course... Fabian.

I was still in love with him. I knew I was... What happened did not change my feelings for the boy. Perhaps... That's what scared me the most about all this. That I wanted to be with him... Despite what I had done to myself. He would never take me back no not now... Not ever. But I had to try right? Maybe he would still love me for me... The feelings he had for me wouldn't go away. If they're still there of course.

I checked my watch... Only 30 minutes left until everyone would be home... Thankfully though I heard Trudy call my name, from the kitchen which meant my meal was all done!

She had made me some of her amazing blueberry muffins, which I ate like there was no tomorrow.

After that Trudy and I talked about my plan... How to get everyone in the same room for me, but most importantly how to make sure they'd stay and listen.

It was simple, Trudy would stand in the doorway, allowing no one to get in or out once they were all in the living room... I'd come in after the group was seated in there... And explain myself then afterwords I could only hope for the best.

As she saw the group coming towards the house, Trudy told me to go into the laundry room so they wouldn't see me... My heart began to race as I heard those voices through the door... And the best house mother in the world telling them to take a seat in the living room, due to a every important 'meeting'

After that she hurried to the laundry room, and told me it was time to go in there. Walking to my next destination filled me with more and more fears... I wasn't looking forward to this, but it had to be done if I had any chance of being here anymore.

"Okay lovelys! Time to start!"Trudy chimed in as we walked into the living room. Suddenly everyone froze as they

looked at me... Some with looks of pure shock, others with looks of confusion... Their eyes locked into mine... As if they were all trying to see into me.

"Nina..."Fabian managed to choke out.

"It's not Nina anymore..."I began as my story started up.

* * *

...

"So... That's why I left... I'm Female To Male Transgender been that way for years, I didn't want to tell you guys the truth before because this place, all of your are the best thing that's ever happened to me! I didn't want to lose that, but I knew I couldn't just sit around and do anything,"I finished looking down at the floor.

"And you thought we'd hate you? That we'd leave you alone? You're kidding... You're kidding right!?"Fabian replied as he stood up, and strolled on over to me.

"No I'm not kidding, Fabian... I've lost so much because of who I really am,"I answered.

"Well you don't have to worry!"Fabian said to me as the others nodded and smiled.

I couldn't believe it... There I was scared for me- For my friends... When I could've just told them...

"So do you still have feelings for me?"I asked weakly.

"Yes, Max I do,"I heard him respond as he pulled me up from the chair I was sitting in.

I looked up into his eyes... Oh gosh those eyes could capture me forever and ever.

Then I felt Fabian's soft lips on mine I leaned in more and kissed back as we heard everyone else cheer.

When we broke apart Fabain and I smiled at each other as he spoke once more.

"Ya know... I've always had a thing for long haired boys..."He added with a smirk.

And that's when I knew... I was with the right people, I was in the right place where I could finally be who I am.

* * *

**Hey everyone! Long time no see! xD I haven't written any new HOA fics in a while cause honestly...o-o As much as I love the show I've been getting into Degrassi and I LOVE it! Who knew a show could get me so hooked from just a few episodes... Anyways enough with my rambling! I came up with this idea for one-shot day! Just ya know... xD A reason Nina might of left. Gah! I wish she would've come back in season 3 at some point though, but of course she didn't... And while we're on this subject I heard there was a HOA movie! I haven't seen it since it was only aired in the UK and I'm in the US. But I hope to see it one day because it doesn't sound like season 4 is coming after all. But anyways review? c: I'd love to hear what ya all tihnk!**


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